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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte knows that no one is above the law, so he voluntarily paid a P100,000 fine for violating a law he signed three months ago. The law is the ‘Anti-bastos’ law which imposes stiffer penalties on a range of acts from catcalling, sexist slurs, stalking and…
In a dramatic turn of events surrounding the case against Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire financier walked free from a Manhattan courthouse Thursday afternoon as charges of conspiracy and evidence tampering were being filed against each of his accusers.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Beauty lies in the beholder, and U.S. President Donald Trump is a beholder of beauty.  After all, he used to own the Miss Universe Organization the world’s premium international beauty pageant. Now, Trump appears to be employing some beauty pageant diplomacy in his nomination for the next U.S.…
"There were fighter jets and tanks and real-life soldiers and all kinds of stuff," Lupke said. "Also, I had an ice cream cone and a whole big bag of popcorn all to myself."
Eric Trump took home the first-ever Nobler Prize today, a new award invented by his father to recognize achievements in science that will be "much more prestigious" than the Nobel Prize, according to the President.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau ) - In order to impress, some people dress up — others dress down. Reality star Kim Kardasian-West chooses to do the latter. West has been criticized for launching a new line pf shapewear which she is calling kimono. Kimono is of course the Japanese…
Another baseball fan was injured by a ball batted into the stands yesterday, causing some to call 'foul!' on the Hispanic players they suspect might be intentionally targeting white spectators.
BEIJING, China (The Adobo Chronicles, Hong Kong Bureau) - In 2014, The Adobo Chronicles broke the news story that the American Psychiatric Association had officially confirmed that the taking of ‘selfies’ is a mental disorder. Since we broke the story, studies have been conducted by various groups and institutions, including researchers from Nottingham Trent University and Thiagarajar School of…
The White House announced today that the first of several planned clones of Donald Trump has been generated, a first step towards enabling his administration to extend decades, if not centuries.
According to police, the very bad dog waited until his master, wife and two small children were asleep before intentionally starting the blaze using several dishtowels he piled atop the stove.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Under President Donald Trump’s administration, the United States’ space exploration is making huge discoveries. Today, the Nationl Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced its biggest discovery yet in many decades: the earth’s moon is actually part of planet Mars! This new discovery was revealed by no less than…
Citing the dozens of deaths and disappearances that have occurred in each during recent months, officials announced today the planned destruction of Mount Everest and the West Maui Forest Reserve.
LONDON, United Kingdom (The Adobo Chronicles, Paris Bureau) - When in Rome, do as the Romans do.  When in Great Britain, wear a tuxedo as the British do, especially when you’re visiting the Queen. Most everyone has now seen a photo of US President Donald Trump wearing a tux to Buckingham Palace.  It was hard to…
Featured during the program's weekly birthday segment, a portrait of Mengele - also known as the 'Angel of Death' for his role as head physician at the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland between the years of 1940-1945 - appeared in between photographs of Donald Rumsfeld and G. Gordon Liddy while Ingraham praised his, "Dedicated and significant work in the field of medical science and personal freedom."
WASHINGTON, D.C, (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - The vetting process for foreign nationals wishing to enter the U.S. has just become more stringent, thanks to Donald Trump. Yahoo News is reporting that the U.S. Department of State is now requiring applicants for tourist or immigrant visas to submit a list of their current and…
Leaked to the media despite his wishes to keep the results confidential, the final tally of the competition reveals a President who is not only the most calm and collected individual to currently work at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but possibly to ever have ever served as Commander in Chief.
It's only twenty months until the next election, so if you're like most Americans and are running for President, it's time to kick off your campaign! The following are some tips that could help you achieve your goal...
Are conspiracy theories themselves part of a conspiracy to subvert democratic institutions and national economies for the benefit of a shadowy elite? New book makes astounding claims that most popular conspiracy theories are being disseminated by sinister figures hoping to profit from the uncertainty and chaos they cause.
Make no mistake, with plummeting living standards and the neo-feudalism of zero hours contracts replacing actual, secure, jobs covered fully by employment laws, we’re living in a society where the wealthy and privileged are firmly back in the ascendancy...
Home Secretary unveils Uri Gellar as new weapon against knife crime - promises future stabbings will be foiled as noted psychic causes offending blades to be bent out of shape before they can do any damage. Calls for initiative to be extended to sex crimes, with offending members withered before they can penetrate victims.

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