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Theresa May has approached Harry Potter, the wizard, author JK Rowling for a magic spell to help her, it has been revealed.
Hate is a powerful thing. Powerful enough to divide a house, but apparently, under the right circumstances, strong enough to bring it back together too.
Political depravity and other forms of moral depravity often go together. Senator Willow has a deeply unpleasant experience with the party establishment; but after being expelled from the party for her ‘unpatriotic’ and ‘idealistic,’ rejection of the immoral and corrupt war consensus, things are about to get even worse. Corruption has a thousand faces. And […]
You've all seen Melania being cold to me. No hand holding, eye rolls, ignoring, walking separately, bad, bad. But I'm not upset because at least the American people still love me.
An enthusiastic but unrealistic work colleague who claims that he is going to be ‘all over’ a task that needs completing this afternoon, is in reality only going to give it a slightly increased bit of his attention for a few minutes, it has been disappointingly revealed. ‘Those excel spreadsheets with the monthly figures on...
Washington, DC—Special Prosecutor, Robert Mueller, the man assigned to investigate President Trump’s possible obstruction of justice was last seen reluctantly entering a limousine outside of the downtown DC Hooters on 7th Street. Eye witnesses claim several of Trump’s security detail surrounded Mueller, while mindlessly chanting “make a America great again” over and over again. One passerby claims Mr. Mueller was…
Were London Bridge attackers actually part of Jihadi terror re-enactment group? Bizarre tabloid claims that whole terror incident a tragic misunderstanding with make believe terrorists armed with fake suicide bomb belts and rubber knives mistaken by police for real thing.
It has come to our attention that the media at large has been using the fame of our brightest stars to generate clicks and garner shallow traffic on their sites. Despicable.
Starting as a hearty round of applause, the clapping soon intensified as each cabinet member rose to his or her feet to cheer their Commander in Chief, and has yet to abate after 27 hours...
Greatest American hero? It’s Bobby Joe! No? Nobody call? Anyhow, watch the video!
"Never bottle up your confusion. Think out loud. An effective way to communicate your muddled beliefs is Twitter." -Kisha P., Police Desk Sergeant
Insiders have admitted that the Conservative Party ‘probably shouldn’t have used Easyjet’ to provide strategy advice over the last few years. ‘Admittedly they have a simple approach to problem solving,’ said a senior Tory today. ‘Want to stay in or leave the EU? Ask the public, they’ll know the right answer. ‘Want a mandate for...
Faber College, PA—Skip “Skeeter” Mcyentire of Beta Alpha Lambda (BAL) is ready to take hazing to a more humiliating level with the addition of some built-in safeguards designed to protect his fraternity from any litigation. “All our activities come complete with waivers now, drawn up by our pre-law adviser and regular keg signer, Ted “Blotto” Freihoffer. “He’s been in pre-law for almost…
Trump thinks climate change will be good for America, apparently. President Donald Trump possesses a style described by friends as virile and intuitive and by foes as oafish and oblivious. Some see him a breath of fresh air, with a disarming directness, and others consider him a blustering bully.
The strong stable that Theresa May was talking about in the election has finally been found, bashed to pieces like a wrecking ball has hit it.
In a surprising series of revelations yesterday, former investment tycoon and current resident of Butner Prison, Bernie Madoff, admitted to the press that he came very close to not going through with his infamous Ponzi scheme back in the late 1970’s.
SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Transgender. Queer. Questioning. Homo. Gender-bending. Gender-variant. Cross-dresser. Closeted. Out. Two-spirit. Mahu. Bakla. On-the-bus. In a politically-correct societal atmosphere, not one word is sufficient to describe the diversity of the gay and lesbian community.  Oftentimes, in the struggle for inclusion, the community sometimes ends…
Scientists at JPL sheepishly murmured into a microphone about the existence of another reality where Donald Trump is an excellent U.S. president.
Jesus would go the extra mile and turn the other cheek, right before blowing the heads off of every Muslim accused of being radicalized.
This is my best attempt at offering the information no adult wanted to tell me about — but that would have been terribly useful in — the next decade of life.

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