Check Please!
I bet that turkey was up to all kinds of no good. It totally deserved to be carved into bits.
Calling an offensive by the Spanish Republican Army against Spanish Nationalist forces that took place over 80 years ago outside of Madrid, "Cowardly and terrible," President Trump pledged his allegiance to the Franco-led fascists in a tweet this morning.
Who really wants to go running when you could be drinking gravy from a mug?
“The iPlug, a combination thumb drive and butt plug, will be rolled out today," said an inside source at Apple. “Expect Tim Cook to be wearing one at today’s launch."
Charleston, SC – Duck Donuts is a relatively new and nondescript establishment that’s opened up in a local Charleston strip mall. One couple we spoke with this past week is astonished.
We didn't figure we had inconvenienced anyone, and we sure would have been inconvenienced having to walk half a mile back to a regular lot, wasted as we were.
President Trump continued to push back on the impeachment proceedings against him today, suggesting that he would reject any budget resolutions Congress should pass in the coming weeks unless any and all charges against him are dropped.
Worse than having a micropecker, dropping your wad immediately after penetration—or, god forbid, during foreplay or dinner—will earn you the undying scorn of fair and foul maiden alike.
In algebraic terms a blivit is X pounds of shit in a Y-pound bag, where X is greater than Y.
Gives me a chubby at the thought of observing National Cranberry Relish Day (11/22) and National Mason Jar Day (11/30). Thank god for thirty-day months, eh?"
Unfortunately, some people never walk again after a night in the Gravitas 3000's leaden embrace.
Thousands of fantasy football managers were left high and dry Sunday night after wide receiver Robert Woods was deactivated at the last minute by his real-life team for "personal reasons".
Citing increased headwinds and an evolving market in Southeast Asia, Hewlett-Packard announced Thursday plans to lay off Kyle.
Certainly, the guy who rips a hole in the back of his jeans and knocks three people over is an easy call.
Contrary to the popular belief that even the worst sex or pizza is good, they're not.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - President Donald Trump has suggested sending the US Army over the border into Mexico to “wage war” on drug cartels in a typically bombastic tweet. The US President said his country stood “ready, willing & able to get involved and do the job quickly and effectively” if his Mexican…
Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured the FAA that every 737 Max would include cross-platform multi-player mode on the Xbox One.
"I am not wearing a Nazi uniform," Pence responded to a reporter who asked why he was wearing a Nazi uniform, referring to the dark Wehrmacht uniform adorned with Nazi epaulettes and medallions that he had on.
A new study shows that plant-based husbands are both healthier for women and better for the environment than their meat-based equivalents.

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