Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
So, is Hillary really a lesbian?
With Hillary out of the White House in 2000, and all attention focused on George Bush, the question of Hillary’s sexuality temporarily vanished. When Hillary started making moves towards the White House in 2007, though, people again began to speculate. This time, those wondering if Hillary had been living a lie (in addition to constantly telling lies) focused on one person: Huma Abedin.

A SATIRE WORLD EDITORIAL
So… the Honorable Ex-Senate Majority Leader from Nevada (Mr. Harry Reid) believes that all of the people who once showed up to protest the treatment of the rancher in his home state are “Domestic Terrorists.”

Polluting the air with the sound of bagpipes will now be punishable with up to TWELVE years imprisonment.

The plan will see the railways put back in the hands of the British people whilst Southern Rail are ousted in favour of the vastly more friendly and efficient Thomas & Friends network.

Washington,DC-(satireworld.com)

Good news and bad news today as Congress voted to keep military funding in place to sponsor US Army ads on NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Ryan Newman’s car. The Bad News? Nancy Pelosi amendment requires NASCAR to find a gay driver for a Government Motor’s racing version of the Chevy Volt!

Donald Trump says he will not arrive at 2016 Republican National Convention in blackface, but urges others to do so.

The White House – (satireworld.com)
With Hillary Clinton’s poll numbers sliding faster than butter on a hot skillet, the current occupants of the White House are starting to realize that a moving date is fast approaching.

Empty moving boxes first started to arrive today as the First Family made plans to exit the White House next January under the cover of darkness and will head back to Hawaii where they’ll become residents again but this it be for a really long vacation.

God Is High As A Father-F'er (Offensive Language Warning)

Secret plans to trigger Article 5 ten times, instead of Article 50 once, have been uncovered this morning. Article 50 is the thingie they say you have to trigger if you want to leave the EU, according to our EU expert.

The man, Michael Rowland, 23, was seen playing the game on his mobile phone before jumping up in delight and running off the beach into the sea. Witnesses report him shouting ‘Gyarados, it’s a Gyarados!’ before he became submerged in the briny deep.

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com)
Dr. Rami Gushinari finally released to the public the official 25 page LA Coroner’s report on Michael Jackson. The ‘King of Pop’ died from a drug overdose and was laid to rest in Woodlawn Cemetery for the Elite and Pompous almost seven years ago.

For a small window of time, it seemed like the coup had been a success, with the militants controlling the streets and ordering the public to go home and stay quiet. However the people revolted and the coup failed, leaving the democratically elected leader still in charge.

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (The Adobo Chronicles, Chicago Bureau) - Moments after Donald Trump hinted at naming Indiana Governor Mike Pence as his vice presidential running mate, the Log Cabin Republicans unanimously voted to dump the presumptive GOP presidential nominee. The GOP LGBT group announced its decision to instead vote for Hillary Clinton just days before Monday's Republican…

Local Kindergartner Phillip Bradley has made his family proud this week...

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com)
“Bollocks to global warming is now official UK government policy,” a spokesperson at the newly-created Ministry for Big Oil Relations said today as new British Prime Minister Theresa May wielded the ax to the Tories’ long term flagshit shop window, the Department for the Environment and Climate Change.

"I'm starting a campaign to get Vine videos increased in length from 6 seconds to 7 seconds each. JOIN ME!" Jimmy Popper, Campaigner

At a hastily arranged press conference the veteran lothario said: ‘I’m delighted to have achieved such a milestone. It is tribute to my undying virility and sex appeal that at 72 I have fathered so many children but as you all know if you start me up I can’t stop.’

Doctors say Patrick had enough cigarette smoke in his system to kill a baby elephant. Despite working tirelessly throughout the night, they failed to save the lifelong smoker who had begun to feel slightly nauseous after his 25th cigarette on one of his many smoke breaks earlier that day.

New details have surfaced in the killing of a black man by an umpire at Nationals Stadium in Washington D.C. Thursday. The victim, 29 year-old Andrew McCutchen of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, had been in a verbal altercation with the umpire, Dennis Berg, 47, and was reportedly wielding a baseball bat when Berg shot him six times.

In what could be a first for the world of hip-hop, the father of celebrated rapper Eminem -- longtime Indiana politician Mike Pence -- has been chosen by presidential candidate Donald Trump to be his running mate.