CLEVELAND, Ohio (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - It pays to have connections from inside the Republican Party.  Today, The Adobo Chronicles has obtained an advance, unedited copy of the nomination acceptance speech of presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump. Trump is scheduled to deliver his acceptance speech at prime time on Thursday. Here's a LINK to the…

"It is my very own, special dream speech, not like any other dream speech," explains Mrs. Trump.

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com)
Alone and penniless for the first time, Fatima Bin Laden was forced to leave Pakistan last year and find work in her home country of Saudi Arabia after US Navy SEALS put an end to her husband Osama’s career as a world renown terrorist several years ago.

Paris, France – (SatireWorld)
French politicians recently approved a measure that would ban massive buttocks smelling ceremonies usually held on Friday afternoons in various public parts of the French capitol. According to well placed sources, the event was discouraged at first when children as young as five-year's old were noticed walking among the participants. Some injuries were reported and prompted the speedy crackdown. (no pun intended)Repeated warning were ignored and finally, with a 100% approving vote, the measure was brought up in a binding resolution, than passed as French law.

The 2016 RNC introduced it’s headliner Donald Trump in true Trump fashion when he was introduced by a 20 foot holographic Adolph Hitler.

Forecasters are warning that annoying weather-talk will reach a new high this afternoon at around 3pm. Office bores and bosses without imagination are due to mention the heat and refer to their iPhone temperature apps as often as every 10 minutes in some UK cities. Met Office spokesperson Gillian McMillan said: “Office workers need to...

The Daily Discord is denying this is a picture of the failed rebellion in Turkey, badly PhotoShopped.

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

Cameron may have left office but his norks are still held in the highest esteem by the British public. He beat Theresa May in the poll 48% to 42% with 10% undecided.

The man, Gary McQueen, 34, had spent most of his adult life working in the local government. It was only when he began to suffer from frequent headaches that he was sent for a medical examination.

"Thank heavens kangaroos can't fly." Jessie Krufts, Flap Jack Champ

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Forget about Tim Kaine, Elizabeth Warren or Julian Castro.  None of them will be Hillary Clinton's pick for her vice presidential running mate. The Clinton campaign has set the stage for the much-awaited announcement and the choice of venue provides the best clue thus far on who Clinton…

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Arnell Ignacio. Jimmy Bondoc. Freddie Aguilar. Celebrities all.  And they're all appointees or potential appointees to top administration posts under President Rod Duterte. Now, yet another celebrity has been appointed to join the president's cabinet -- none other than reigning Miss Universe Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach. Duterte announced Wurtzbach's…

Meteorologist Jackson Spoon said: ‘The severe heat that has been affecting most of Southern Europe is slowly working its way up to the UK and with that comes the very real danger of testicular moisture. The streets of Southern Europe are literally awash with gonad sweat at the moment. High temperatures can lead to a huge amount discomfort for millions of vulnerable men. '

Local couple JoHanna Heath and Craig Ash have recently hit a rough patch in their relationship but that doesn’t mean that they’re giving up on their love of free-cycling goods!

"It's a sad world when this would only make headline news if the squirrel got a gun and shot someone.#KnowWhatImSayin" Jimmy Popper, Fruit Correspondent (Strawberries) , CNN

In an unexpected turn of events, Defence Secretary Michael Fallon has announced that it is no longer necessary to replace the four submarines that carry Trident nuclear missiles after a groundbreaking deal was reached overnight. “It occurred to us that we were only buying the submarines so that we could deliver the missiles,” he explained,...

I’ve been predicting the demise of the GOP for years, but is it inevitable? How do we shift toward more meaningful discourse? How do we bring the marginalized back into the conversation, you know, before they form the Christian Republican State In the South (CRSIS)? …with CRSIS comes opportunity? These racial divisions are symptoms of a greater illness. The paranoia and neurotic…

The new Pokémon Go smart phone app is jeopardizing one of the year’s biggest events — the Olympic Games. Unless you have been in a coma for the last few weeks, you’re probably well aware of the new craze that’s sweeping the world: Pokémon Go. Pikachu and his pesky pals aren’t just blowing up your...

“We did not realize that so many American dog breeds strongly resemble the cute cartoonish monsters with which we populated the Pokemon Go virtual world,” said Nintendo Vice President Hitaro Arakida.