by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Since the election he’s jumped on the ‘fake news’ phrase like an old dog with a new chew toy. No matter what you think of Donald J. Trump, you got to admit he’s a cracker-jack salesman with an uncanny gift for manipulating the mainstream media like a three-armed rental clown juggling pin-pulled grenades.

by Michael Egan.Via GoogleSeance™, famed psychologist predicts Justice Thomas’s ‘Drunken Uncle Complex’ will pass with Scalia’s demise. HEAVEN’S GATE – Founder of psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud said today that the unexpected death of Justice Antonin Scalia could finally liberate his colleague Clarence Thomas enough “to actually speak up, after decades of claustrophobic silence.” Interviewed via GoogleSeance™ satellite from [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Kidding, there’s a republican super-majority so he’s only one of many dangers.

New line of Ivanka fragrances With the wild success of her newly introduced perfume, Ivanka has announced that she will be rolling out an entire line of scents: The next will be “Putin on the Ritz.” The commercial for the fragrance will have Vladamir Putin and Ivanka dressed as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing.

We here at Conspiracy Theories bring you the hard-hitting website that isn’t afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon innocents.

   

Washington—Zika, a disease associated with encephalitis and microcephaly, continues to spread across the globe at an alarming rate. Its main mode of transmission remains mosquitoes, sexual intercourse, or sharing needles with sexually active mosquitoes (SAMs). Pope Francis rocked the Christian world today when he announced his support of using contraception, in certain instances, to combat Zika. Unfortunately, he…

Republicans in the debate presented just rancor and hate. No policy goals to take to the polls, it’s left just a menacing slate. Trump’s narcissism is no surprise, but that’s where the true danger lies. He has the belief as Comander-in-chief the law to him never applies.

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

I think of my car as my pocketbook on wheels, but I have a clean conscience about it. Have you ever noticed that when a friend offers you a ride and you get in their car, they usually say, “Sorry about the mess,” even if the car’s interior is so pristine you could perform surgery?

Sesame Street—A clear picture of President Donald Trump’s hatred for PBS, Sesame Street and for the Muppets in general is emerging. Prior to the 2005 appearance of the character Donald Grump on Sesame Street, evidence suggests President Trump was affiliated with PBS and may even be a Henson creation himself. Press Secretary Sean Spicer has requested that SNL parody this bit,…

Chicago, Il—Jerry Springer’s publicist, Linda Shafran, is refuting a recent Daily Discord feature. She claims her client was on business in California on March 11th and not, as The Discord feature suggests, in attendance at the infamous Chicago Trump rally. She also added the person in the above image “only looks a tiny bit like Jerry.” The Discord staff…

Why is everyone getting this Trump thing so wrong? Trump didn’t kill the republican party, Beauty killed the beast. Actually, stupidity killed the beast, but the death of conservatism, under the weight of its own ignorance is not surprising. Today’s Grand Old Party is like that donkey Eeyore on an Alabama tilt-a-whirl—a sad state of affairs all…

Plymouth, MA—Much to the relief of our Founding Fathers, the ghost of King George III has graciously accepted their spirits back into the bosom of mother England. The group hopes to reach the Cardiff shipyards before the inauguration of Donald J. Trump on January 19th. The group’s initial request for soul citizenship in 2004 was denied, but now the…

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...