The wonderful sunshine state of Florida announced Monday that they have begun the testing phase of a new drunk driver’s license program that will allow Florida residents who aren’t total bitches to drive while intoxicated.

The Board of Shakespeare’s Globe have reassured audiences of their mission to produce shows of ‘mind-numbing tweeness’, purposely designed to send your average GCSE Literature student into a spiral of self-harm. Renewing their commitment to Shakespearean traditions, all staff will be expected to adhere to a life expectancy of 40, rats as pets, and a...

…or maybe reach around.

The ranks of the Trumpettes are dwindling fast, as more and more information they had purposely tried to avoid has been brought to their attention. First, all women with an ‘A’ cup fled the organization, hurt and ashamed, when they discovered that...

Ottawa, Canada – (satireworld.com)
The rising flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent successes of the Trump campaign are prompting an exodus among Hillary Clinton supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible citizens once Hillary is finally given her walking papers after the 2016 election winds up on November 8th.

A huge explosion ripped through the tent and the show ended with all the hosts and participants trapped inside.

The White House – (SatireWorld.com)
Just in time for Halloween. The zany folks over at the White House have reported that the current resident, one Barack Hussein Obama, reported seeing a smiling ghostly apparition in a hallway mirror in the east wing.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles, Las Vegas Bureau) - Practically conceding defeat in the November 8 US presidential elections, Republican candidate Donald Trump is spending the last days of the campaign having a grand time -- watching international beauty pageants. This time, he can't barge into dressing rooms full of naked beauty contestants because he…

With the election just days away, many Americans are realizing for the first time that, oh crap, I’m going to have to vote for one of these candidates. But which one? The grumpy one with the coiffed hair, or Trump? Short on alternatives, many voters are looking to the same time-tested source that those who already made up their mind used: yard signs.

Britain's peadophiles complain that too many unaccompanied refugee children arriving in UK are actually adults. Demand tougher age tests to ensure that the government only save the children for them, not over age impostors.

Economists and eminent human rights lawyers alike have this week applauded the British stance on re-settling refugees from the Calais ‘jungle’. Professor Donald Rosarch from the Denver School for Human Rights Law mused ‘We admire the wisdom of western nations with aging populations angrily rejecting cohorts of fit young men and boys, none of whom...

We do need a counterbalance to liberal excesses, but who’s that going to be exactly? How did you end up on the wrong side of this thing, Pokey? Do you no longer have access to information, or can you no longer process it effectively? Here’s my summary of your last post: you have 1862 and…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

he White House – (satireworld.com)
President Barack Obama stunned his staff last night when he and a few members of Congress showed up at a White House Halloween costume party dressed as KKK Klansmen! The party was co-hosted by longtime Hollywood icon, and 'Barry' Obama supporter, singer/activist Barbara Streisand who donned a hood herself proclaiming she was part the ‘new and improved Jewish and Gay KKK.’

West Palm Beach, FL – (SatireWorld.com)
The Palm Beach, FL Jewish community launched an all out search for D&C Charperson (sic) Debbie Wasserman Schultz after she went out ‘trick or treating’ Halloween night and never returned home!

Bone Hollow, KY – (satireworld.com)
Never challenge Walter Bucket to a dare. Especially when it comes to making up a costume for Halloween, then explaining that free peanut M & M’s are for the taking!

Fullerton CA – (SatireWorld.com)
California State University at Fullerton (Cal Fullerton) liberal arts students apparently don’t have enough to do between classes, e.g. possibly study for exams! These students adopt social causes to protest about, such as “Gender Neutrality.”

It is almost time for Halloween, and our staff have lots of ideas to help you be
ready. First, you are probably asking "What candy should I hand out?" Here is
all you need. Smarties and Dum Dums have been packaged together. You can pass judgment as you pass out treats.

Strutting across the stage in front of tens of dozens of supporters, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said that she is confident she already has enough votes to win the race -- and that her supporters should not waste time venturing out to polling stations on Election Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - Secret Service agents were baffled early this morning when they discovered several garbage bags strewn in the White House lawn facing Pennsylvania Avenue. Upon reviewing CCTV video tapes, they found out who the culprit was: Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Clickhole.com is reporting that the bags didn't contain…