by Jim Hightower.Big Pharma tries to deal with the pesky matter of public anger at price gouging. Big news, people! Especially for those of you upset by the skyrocketing prices of the essential prescription medicines you take — including thousands of patients who were hit last year with a 5,000 percent price increase for one lifesaving drug! [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

  Trump Tower—Presidential nominee Donald Trump is making disturbing claims about the origins of his presidential aspirations. When asked about his initial desire to seek the highest office in the land, Mr. Trump told NBC’s Matt Lauer, “I started playing this game, Slenderman. Little by little I was playing it all the time. I barely had…

The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...

There’s no indication that Fox News is tacking back toward sanity. A Laura Ingraham slot on primetime represents another doubling down on their conservative suckage. She’s the only Foxeteer arguably right of Hannity. Nothing should be right of Hannity, well, unless it has a shaved head and a Thor’s hammer tat. Don’t you realize if you make your viewers any less insightful they’re going to…

by Will Durst.The summer vacation is a time-honored testament to all that is right about America. And often, not less than a little of what is wrong. We look forward to it for months. Calendars have been ... Read moreHow to Survive Your Summer VacationSubscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format. Pick up a copy at Barnes & Noble and other stores all over the U.S.

by Michael Egan.Famed lawgiver called ‘a yuuuge loser who didn’t have a clue how to negotiate’ by Trump NYC — Donald Trump says that his famous inability to cite a single Bible verse forced him recently “to take just one more look inside my favorite book, of course only to refresh my memory about some of the [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

This is the Discord staff’s choice for the top 10 funniest movies of all time: 1.   Zoolander 2.   Zoolander 3.   Zoolander 2 4. Zoolander 5. Zoolander the Musical 6. Battle Beneath the Planet of Zoolander 7. The Zoolander Outtake Reel 8. Bride of Zoolander 9. I Was a Teenage Zoolander 10. Elf-lander Some of these have…

Tweet Tower—Soon after the announcement of the creation of a Space Force, President Trump revealed his intentions to appoint Pixar giant Buzz Lightyear to head this new branch of the military. Lightyear, a twenty year veteran of animated space exploration, has already expressed his excitement and his desire “to protect this great country from all space threats while our nation’s…

He once owned a dog named Bark. As a kid, he was kicked out of the Boy Scouts of America. His childhood nickname was “Sleepy.” When he was little, and alone, he used to sing songs to God. When he joined Second City in 1973...

If egomaniac The Donald can do it, why not egomaniac The Kanye? “Let’s not forget that the Terminator once managed the eighth largest economy in the world, so why can’t I, a musician, entrepreneur and demigod, be the one to win back the title of the world’s largest economy from China?

Washington, DC—Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) dropped a bombshell earlier this week and all but admitted the Benghazi investigations were a political ruse, designed to hurt Hillary Clinton politically. Since then many questions about these committees are surfacing. What were republicans really doing behind closed doors during all those meetings with all that Kleenex and lotion?…

‘Whoever supposed we Trumps would be mixing with the ordinary rabble on Easter? Silly people!’ – Melania Trump

Chicago, Il—In response to a viral video showing a passenger being dragged off of a plane, CEO of United Airlines Oscar Munoz staged an identical scenario. Airport security bodily dragged Mr. Munoz down the aisle of an Airbus A420, before ejecting him face first onto the tarmac. Whether or not the Board of Directors ordered this stunt or it was…

Did you know William Faulkner wrote a novel based on Donald Trump? Well, our intrepid writer dug it up, and here’s an exclusive excerpt, just for Humor Times readers! By Richard Klin I smell hit I smell hit right away. The cheap cologne and you could smell hit all the way from Memphis and it...

bWASHINGTON — Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont received a response to his proposition that there should be a Democratic presidential debate with Hillary Clinton in New York prior to the primary election there.

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for.  And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

The Humor Times announced today that it will no longer be a leading publisher of “fake news,” and instead will do its level-best to fight what it now admits is a scourge on all forms of media.

Trump Tower—The Donald told reporters today the events at last night’s Trump rally in Chicago were planned and coordinated attacks. He believes they were not, as Hillary Clinton maintains, a spontaneous demonstration carried out by random progressive protestors. Trump believes this attack was anything but random. Trump told reporters, “Chicago has become a vacuum of power under the Obama…