Top crime figures demand government lift lockdown to facilitate their members. Robberies, burglaries and street crimes at a standstill due to anti-Covid measures. Crime unions claim fewer people at home and more potential victims on the streets needed to kickstart UK crime.
As UK goes into lockdown, popular culture struggles to deal with restrictions imposed by social distancing rules in order to ensure that it is show business as usual. Proposals for gossip columnists to simulate celebrity incidents with dolls while suggestions that football season be continued via Subuteo mooted.
Will Boris Johnson's much vaunted virility, as he gets another woman up the duff, prove to be his downfall? Top Labour spin doctor plans election broadcast simulating Prime Minister in bed copulating with a woman - believes public revulsion at sight of all those wobbling buttocks and horrendous grunting will persuade voters to abandon Boris.
With a wide range of businesses and services remaining shuttered due to the Coronovirus pandemic, people are developing new skills for things they've previously hired others to do for them. From cooking their own pets to inking their own tattoos, folks are more self-sufficient than ever. Perhaps no DIY project is more important however than one's own mental health, as diagnosing and preventing any early-stage mental illness is more crucial than ever. The following are some tips for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being during these difficult times:
As an agorophobic woman watching Coronavirus spread around the world these last few months, I've experienced a variety of emotions. Sadness, of course, over all the lives lost. Anxiousness, naturally, at how many more will get sick and how long this nightmare will last. But also one more. One more that up to now, out of politeness, I've refrained from divulging but can hold back no longer. One that can be pretty much summed up by one expression: "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"
Two months after the United States announced it's first fatality due to the Coronavirus, the nation's death toll surpassed 60,000 this week - or less than 3% of the Vietnamese killed during the Vietnam War, the Trump Administration pointed out today.
In the blurred new reality of quarantines and stay at home orders, one man has conceived of a new name for all the days of the week that for many have lost all distinction: Sturmwedonfrituday.
Members of right-wing movements opposed to government-imposed Coronavirus restrictions staged raids of intensive care units in multiple states yesterday, "liberating" patients receiving care for COVID-19 infections.
Flipping the script on a decades-old campaign, one small town in New Hampshire is now urging it's youth to choose drugs over hugs in order to fight the Coronavirus.
With the start of the Major League Baseball season postponed indefinitely due to the Coronavirus outbreak, members of the Houston Astros are reportedly keeping at the top of their win-at-any-cost approach to the game by cheating around the house.
Addressing a less-often discussed issue related to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Dr. Fauci recommended this morning that Americans sexually self-gratify in order to limit the spread of the virus.
As hoarding and supply chain worries continue to make reliable access to toilet paper Americans' top concern during the Coronavirus pandemic, the Porter family of Powder Springs, Georgia are one of many already reporting a shortage of the most essential product.
The vaccine, a conjugate of multiple un-inactivated strains of COVID-19, has reportedly been shown to generate a strong immune response against the virus within a modified threshold of acceptable side-effects.
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