Check Please!
Washington, DC – (

After the initial three allegations were revealed over a few weeks, a startling number of allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh were revealed just today. Those allegations include:
Hollywood, CA – (

Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings. Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser (who was also seeking her fifteen minutes of fame) later admitted to just wanting to be back in the spotlight again.
Fionna, NY – (

Former high school band member and tuba player Rosie O’Donnell admitted in casual conversation to others that she had a “sexual encounter” with her musical instrument while they were watching the 1999 teen comedy move “American Pie.” In the movie, character Michelle says that “this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”
Last Saturday morning, as the dawn sloughed off its Chicago overcoat and lifted its red face like a Russian flag on a Florida honeymoon, a hipster hit the streets. And then a parked bus.
Re: The North Atlantic Sea Report

Nova Scotia, Canada (
The iceberg that sank the Titanic was thought to be 100,000 years old, according to scientists who traced the origins of the once colossal lump of glacial ice. The ice berg was given a number (K-95432) and was tracked by NOAA since its discovery back in 1911 though it was only in the past several months did the notoriety of K-95432 surface surprising NOAA scientists.
Seattle, WA – (

On the first anniversary of the 2016 presidential election, anti-Trump liberals gathered at events across the country to express their rage of losing a ‘shoo-in’ election in 2016 by ‘screaming helplessly at the sky’.
Seattle,WA – (
The Seattle city government has frowned upon city employees using the words “brown bag” and “citizen.” Instead of “brown bag” lunch, sack lunch should be used and instead of “citizen,” resident should be used.
Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. TRUE: A little smidgen of Viagra in your child’s milk and cereal will help cause them to walk with a straight back and develop better posture!
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Washington Bureau) - U.S. President Donald Trump reacted with a lot of insecurity to the announcement from the Royal Palace in London that Prince Harry is now engaged to be married to American Actress Meghan Markle. That makes Markle a potential heir to the throne of the Queen. Trump said that…
Although their presence is ubiquitous across the United States, Americans are doing their best to pretend that there aren't thousands of UFOs in the sky.
Although the Surgeon General tried to convince him otherwise, President Trump announced today that Americans should take up smoking for its considerable health benefits.
Leon Springs, CA – (
Well, you knew it was coming right? Just a few years after Bruce Jenner declared himself a ‘woman’ with man parts, washed-up cyclist and admitted doper Lance Armstrong is going to give womanhood a chance and enter the Tour de France bicycle event as a woman.
Satireworld reports:
On a hill in Sharm el-Sheikh, not far from the famous beach resorts with their bikini-clad patrons, Islamist activist Ahmed Saber ponders the fate of revealing swimwear if his party comes to power. After spending weeks observing bikini wearing women on the beach through powerful binoculars, the cleric laments the probable cause of male blindness among fellow Egyptians.
Seoul, South Korea – (
North Korean leader Kim Song-Un pulled no punches Saturday as a committee representing him and other DPRK leaders demanded parity with other Winter Olympic athletes and suggested the North have a winter rocket launching category so 50,000 DRPK soldiers can compete.
London – (
A pair of conjoined parasitic twins very nearly sold America’s London embassy building to Donald Trump for One Measly Dollar according to Royal Courts of Justice papers filed today.
Our top Sports reporter, Richard Head, lives and dies by the journalistic mantra: “always go straight to the source”.
Denver, CO – ( is currently marketing their product for Father’s Day. Their featured item is a picture frame that, connected through wifi, receives and displays pictures from loved ones. The manufacturer is currently heavily marketing the item for Father’s Day for a cost of about $90 (“three easy payments of $29.95”).
Annapolis MD – (
Maryland State Police (MSP) officials are asking the public to help identify an approximately 25 year old male caught trying to grope a woman, while she was jogging on a local wooded path. Photos of the suspect will be posted via smart phones, the internet and local TV channels
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea (The Adobo Chronicles, Seoul Bureau) - Hundreds of hungry athletes and visitors to the Winter Olympics have been contacting The Adobo Chronicles asking where in PyeongChang they can find a P.F. Chang’s. The calls started coming in after ABC News aired a segment titled P.F. Chang 2018.  Little did viewers realize it…
WASHINGTON - President Trump is shaking up his cabinet yet again with the appointment of AR-15 as the new Secretary of Health and Human Services. ​

​"I aim to protect all remaining American lives by making it easier to buy guns," said AR-15.

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