Check Please!
Cressida Harmsworth's sense of pride and empowerment for her gender on International Women's Day was spoilt when her kitchen tap sprang a leak, forcing her to call a plumber who would almost certainly be male.
Offred was forced to have sex with the commander again in front of his wife. Who treats white women like that!? Ugh, it was so terrible, because that like literally is my life.
Everybody’s favorite radio talk show host, Jerry Duncan, interviews Bernie Sanders!

ANNOUNCER Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is the Independent Senator from Vermont, Bernie Sanders.
The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable...
All I want to hear is your name, grade, and on a scale of 1-10 how comfortable you would be lying down in a pit of 200-300 baby rattlesnakes for two minutes.
East European countries are vowing to reintroduce vowels to their languages. ‘Vowels have been endangered in Eastern Europe since before the Second World War,’ said Crystoph ZZvlynski, of the Polish Vowel Research Unit in Warsaw. ‘We have them, some are in our names, but we use them lss and lss.’ Some vowel historians blame increasing...
Washington—The Department of Education plans to rollback Obama-era sexual assault guidelines in an effort to protect some harmless college antics and pranks. Education Secretary Betsy Devos is leading the charge to decriminalize all ‘pre-rape’ offenses and instances of inadvertent penetration. DeVos told the press today, “Not all miss-conduct is the fault of mister-conduct. Sometimes shit happens in locker rooms…
Tony said, 'I tried my hand at stand-up comedy once, but it was quite hard writing actual jokes and stuff, and anyway I’m pretty sure people prefer my slapstick stuff and general goofing around. They can't get enough me, the office would be pretty dull if I were to leave.'
The farting, the boozing, the singing, the lamenting... good grief, what a bunch of lazy, pretentious midgets with nothing to do but stir up drama.
The ride starts up and our car whips around and gathers speed. "HOLY SHIT we're heading straight for the fence!" my coffee conscience says.
Does someone have a divine right to follow me? Do I have enemies? If I do have enemies, what is more important? My safety, or my (perfectly honorable and reasonable) desire not to mistakenly exclude a legitimate follower from my Twitter feed? Does something look suspicious about this account? If it does look suspicious, and […]The post Fake Followers on Twitter: Qs to Ask Yourself if You’re Shy of Hitting the Block Button appeared first on
I have the world's best memory, so when I woke up this morning and couldn't find my car keys anywhere, I knew Crooked Hillary was to blame.
Davy Crockett actually wore his raccoon-skin cap as a functional warning to other raccoons not to climb on his head while he was sleeping.
Entertaining guests at the White House, huge part of being president. I drink Diet Coke from cans, but only the best for guests: bottles or fountain.
Bureaucrats will waste zero time before pointing fingers and disrespecting the men, women, and children I'm about to systematically mow down.
I could not bear the thought of the work required to keep my hedges looking as trim and inviting as all of those hedges my husband had bookmarked and shared with me online.
The farewell handshake between President Trump and his French counterpart Emmanuel Macron has entered its third day with no signs of either man relinquishing their grip. The handshake began on the Champs-Elysees on Friday after Trump attended Bastille Day celebrations with President Macron. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it’ says Le Monde’s Hubert Virenque. ‘At...
First of all, you have to remind yourself that this movie was taken from a series of comic books lesser known to Americans. As with the plethora of action/hero films which US moviegoers are generously provided continually, that’s how...
Every day I put off cutting my nail only means that when I inevitably do, the annihilation of whole universes will be that much more substantial.
I can't help but be ashamed of how materialistic I used to be. I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.

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