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Tweet Tower—The White House is downplaying the replacement of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson with a cardboard replica. Many believe the president does not wish to emphasize the diplomatic aspects in his already depleted toolkit. Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “When the big-oil-diplomat fails, it’s time to bring in his cardboard counterpart. The president knows that diplomacy is often…
What’s your sign? Check out your and every other jerk’s horoscope right here every month! What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you!
Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. TRUE: A little smidgen of Viagra in your child’s milk and cereal will help cause them to walk with a straight back and develop better posture!
Washington DC – (
Former Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton’s classified TOP SECRET emails sent/received from an illegal, unsecured email server in the basement of her home in Chappaqua NY have been in the news since 2014 (within President Obama’s second term)!
President Trump has promised to personally ensure that the next Miss America will survive to be crowned, even if there is a global thermonuclear war with Korea.
Glider Falls, Iowa – (

A dog has blasted a man with a shotgun during a pheasant hunt in what has been described as a ‘freak accident’ during a pheasant hunt.
Vatican City, Rome – (
The College of Cardinals in Vatican City announced the first Black Pope of the Catholic Church. There was speculation that they might break from tradition and choose a black Cardinal, but the black Cardinal that they chose surprised everyone. Larry Fitzgerald, wide receiver and all pro with the Arizona Cardinals, was chosen to be the guy to ride around in the Popemobile and wear a dress for the rest of his life.
Walter Bucket Presents: TRUE FACTS

1. Since laughter is the best medicine and helps to strengthen the immune systems, some hyenas live to be over three thousand years old, often scaring the crap out of archaeologist as one runs out of an Egyptian pyramid.
A representative for Pop Music, formerly a rep for Bubblegum Pop–and before that, just a fan–recently announced a major change for the genre...
The Broadway musical "Burr", a gun-friendly story about the right to protect yourself against immigrants with crazy ideas, shuttered after a disappointing one day run.
Startling new research shows that stretching is not the same as yoga.
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - Unknown to many, former U.S. President Barack Obama has filed an oral defamation lawsuit in a Virginia District Court against Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte. Obama is suing Duterte for the latter’s very public cussing several years ago against the then incumbent American President. He called Obama ‘Son-of-a-b*tch.’ (In…
VENTURA, CA - Daniel Fuller’s body was supposed to go to Thousand Oaks Cemetery, but a mix up sent his body to Ventura Gardens Cemetery where a funeral was scheduled for a Mr. Damien Fowler.

Daniel Fuller (dead), “At first I thought it was a prank, but then I realized somebody just totally fucked up.”
Diverging somewhat from the non-partisian Congressional Budget Office's analysis of the bill, which projected it would balloon the nation's deficit by $1.4 trillion within the first 10 years of its implementation while having an unknown effect on job growth, the WHBO's assessment was considerably more favorable of the legislation.
Boston, MA – (
Senatorial candidate Elizabeth Warren got a taste of Indian heritage today when a man in the crowd the ‘Indian Princess’ was addressing removed his hat and asked…’Are you responsible for this?” The man’s obvious scalped head bore the scars of a sharp knife and hurried removal.
Chow Mein City,China (

Two homosexual factory workers in southern China have committed suicide in an attempt to travel back in time. The young men decided to end their lives after one of them lost a remote control to a door and feared the consequences, China Daily reports.
Xiao Hua told his lover and fellow rubber duck assembly worker, Xiao Mei, that he was worried about coming clean to his parents about misplacing the door opener again.
Taking a break from the busy holiday season, you are surprised to discover those pleasant out of focus lights outside are not what you thought they were.
Al Franken, dogged by multiple, mistaken harassment claims and photographic evidence, bravely faced the public and released a statement of apology–privately, through his representative.
NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles, New York Bureau) - It’s that time of year when TIME magazine names its ‘Person of the Year.’  This year, however, it’s going to be ‘Persons of the Year.’ U.S. President Donald Trump and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte tied for the annual recognition for being the persons who most…
In an unusual turnaround at the annual Turkey Pardoning festivity at the White House, the turkey itself made a speech. The 48 pound white turkey Drumstick unexpectedly hopped up to the mike, cleared his throat and said:“Thank you, Mr. President for changing my verdict from assassination to a merciful life behind chicken wire fence for […]

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