NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and billionaire Donald Trump announced the formation of Brownshirts for Trump, an elite club for his most enthusiastic supporters. The Republican frontrunner explained members of the Brownshirts will wear brown shirts and engage in political outreach operations - mainly at night - to interact with non-Trump supporters, those with "anti-American political ideas," and "anyone who doesn't look American."

A conkers match in a local primary school had to be stopped today after three children bruised their little feet, according to witnesses at the scene.

Las Vegas –  Bad ass Marine and democratic hopeful James Henry Webb Jr. generally kept his cool Tuesday evening in the city of sin.  He moved his lips and made some incredibly compelling snake-like hand gestures that played well with voters. 

MADISON, Wisconsin (The Adobo Chronicles) - If you have an iPhone 5S, 6 or 6 Plus, or the later generation iPad, you could be receiving a recall email message from Apple. A U.S. jury on Tuesday found the company accountable for using processor chip  technology owned by the University of Wisconsin-Madison without permission  in many of…

It's time to talk about toxic infanthood.

Does David Cameron's 'Assault on Poverty' Herald the Violent Elimination of Britain's Poor? Top Anti-Poverty Campaigner Claims Tories Planning Mass Murder of Benefits Claimants in Order to Eliminate Poverty.

PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations announced it was exiling former Governor Lincoln Chafee to Block Island, located approximately 13 miles south of the Rhode Island coast, following his performance at last night's Democratic presidential debate. Rhode Island Governor Gina Raimondo announced Chaffee - who was also mayor of the state's second largest city before representing Rhode Island as a US Senator - was being exiled due to a public outcry in response to his "highly embarrassing...

ANGELES CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The president of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)  reiterated the Church’s call for voters not to elect corrupt candidates to office. “Sinners can be forgiven but you cannot forgive the corrupt," Bishop Socrates Villegas said. “If we say that corruption is one of our nation’s deepest scars…

Saying that everyone who works in the field of finance and banking deserves a living high wage, workers from New York’s financial district are striking this week in support of a $150 hourly minimum wage.

Cream, sugar, even shots of flavored syrup — it's sickening, in its vapid herd-like mediocrity.

The decision on the monkey-selfie has unexpected consequences...

Burlington, VT—Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) told The Discord today he supports both medical marijuana and the decriminalization of cannabis. Senator Sanders is also open to the recreational use of marijuana for the strict purpose of increasing the creativity of a certain group of spoof news bloggers, “who really seem to suck without it.” Sanders told…

The National Children's Bureau for the Bleeding Obvious has discovered that dicking around on the Xbox rather than doing your homework, might be a barrier to academic greatness. By contrast research initiated by all teenagers, has revealed that all work and no play makes Jack a ‘swot who no one invites to parties’.

These almost contrasting conclusions have split scientists; particularly those who spend all day starring at data on a computer screen in the hope of proving that starring at a computer screen is bad for you.

by Paul Lander.Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

Self-described “devout Christian” Heath Ferrate frequently posts to social media articles claiming no one was actually killed in the 2012 mass shooting perpetrated by Adam Lanza.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC-04) - chairman of the eighth Select Committee on Benghazi - announced his lawyers had instructed him to begin practicing the phrase "I plead the Fifth." The legal advice followed allegations Gowdy may have violated federal law when he fired Benghazi investigator Maj. Bradley Podliska - an active member of the Air Force Reserve who criticized Gowdy's investigation for focusing primarily on Hillary Clinton - and may have violated federal law again when he tried to discredit Podliska by releasing confidential information...

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - Two of the country's minority journalism organizations today formally protested the use of the term 'illegal alien' in the new Hollywood film, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The Asian American Journalists Association(AAJA) and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists (NAHJ) sent a strongly-worded joint letter to Zack Snyder accusing…

"Ew. That's like an off color Barney. 3/10." Jessie Krufts, Childrens TV Presenter

SYRIA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Syrian civilians who have not fled their war-torn country declared they largely did not know what air strikes were "friendly" and what air strikes were "hostile." They also explained Russia's bombing of Syria had made identifying whether civilians were being killed by a "friendly air strike" or a "hostile air strike" even more difficult.

Leonardo da Vinci unveils a revolutionary device