DENVER, Colorado (The Adobo Chronicles) - The Republican National Committee (RNC), disappointed by last night's conduct of the GOP presidential debate on CNBC, announced that it has decided on a major change in the next televised debate. Reince Priebus, chair of the RNC, slammed CNBC immediately after the GOP debate hosted by the network ended Wednesday night. Priebus…

A day after announcing the lifting of the “one couple, one child" policy, Chinese officials are admitting that the move was premature and might cause a “perilous” spike in the birth rate.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI-01) officially lost the Republican contest to not be Speaker of the United States House of Representatives. Speaker Ryan garnered 236 votes to succeed John Boehner (R-OH-01), and declared his defeat to what he described as "one of the most shameful American legislative bodies in our history" prior to threatening all of America with what was to come.

Jesse Martin thought he landed the perfect job. 4-day work weeks, free breakfasts and lunches, company outings, and an filled with games and activities. He took the position of Marketing Ninja at a new Silicon Beach ad startup called Impaktly, but it wasn't exactly what he thought he signed up for.

BROOKLYN (The Barbed Wire) - A bathroom break turned into a tense situation today when seven female staffers for the Hillary Clinton campaign team locked themselves in a women's bathroom in the campaign's headquarters building. All seven survived the ordeal and counselors have been brought in to help the women process the event.

‘Bringing home the bacon is fine, in moderation. But the reason I didn’t die before I got old was total abstention from bedroom pork products, including scratchings in my pyjamas.’

Frequently Asked Questions about Benghazi answered by Will Durst. Q: Isn’t Benghazi the guy who used to pal around with John Cassavetes back in the 60s? A: No, that was Ben Gazzara. Q: What’s all this then?

GOP presidential front-runner Dr. Ben Carson has added abortion to the long list of things he thinks are comparable to slavery.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - In anticipation of Paul Ryan's formal election as the new Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives tomorrow, his Chief of Staff, Dave Hoppe, released the Congressman's official photograph that will be hung in his office on Capitol Hill. "It is an accurate representation of what the congressman faces as he assumes…

Speaking in a Russian interview, former chairman of FIFA, Sepp Blatter, has admitted he was building an evil world empire like a typical bad guy in a James Bond movie. This just days following the Spectre premiere, the latest James Bond movie, in cinemas.

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush has a new look that reflects his “outsiderness” and “devil-may-care attitude,” says his newly appointed campaign manager.

Boulder, CO – Like many of us that have faced a valley in our career or our personal lives, Rick Santorum has been doing some soul searching.  

BOULDER, COLORADO (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Republican National Committee (RNC) announced tonight's presidential debate on CNBC will focus on continuing the flawed economic policies that have made wealthy Americans staggeringly wealthier over the last 35 years. In order to effectively reinforce the debate's plutocratic theme, CNBC announced it will not allow Americans to livestream the debate unless they have an overpriced cable or satellite subscription that includes the network.

Another terrible shooting at an American school. Hard to really understand how America can ignore a problem that affects them every single day. However, I’ve tried to do that over at The What & The Why, where I’ve written something about America’s gun culture and how it affects all of us.

Maybe this is the one those Heaven’s Gate Hale-Bopp folks were waiting for?

We will also be looking at repealing the Lords smoking ban, offering free alcohol between nine a.m. and midnight, removing the need for Lords to wear seatbelts and upping the speed limits their official cars can legally reach. It's the least we can do.'

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to The news doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - The bitter political rivalry between the Marcoses and the Aquinos abruptly came to an end today, when Philippine President Noynoy Aquino granted absolute pardon to the late Ferdinand E. Marcos and his family, including Imelda Romualdez Marcos and their children, Senator Bongbong Marcos, Governor Imee Marcos and Irene Marcos. All…

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Nil Admirari) - Around noon today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson compared his lunch salad to slavery. The midday meal complaint followed Carson's increasingly common pattern of comparing things he disliked to slavery.

What he's really gunning for.