After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five years after it slipped beneath the waves on April 14th, 1912.

  How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Cereal makers were up in almonds today as the government rolled oat proposals to introduce standardised plain packaging for some of the most ludicrously tasty morning meals. The move comes after a review of the health risks linked to the delicious suger-laden snacks found some to be so dangerous they even turn the milk brown.

I wrote my comment for the studio rep at the screening of Macbeth as follows: ‘Tis an unruly film … '

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - 'The Martian,' starring Matt Damon playing the role of an astronaut left behind and presumed dead on planet Mars, was so funny and the musical numbers so  outstanding that it was nominated today in three categories for the Golden Globe Awards. The film picked up three nominations: Best Director (Ridley…

Straight from the ‘say-it-isn’t-so’ department, but the folks over at TMZ have revealed and confirmed the super model voluntarily had her nipples removed from her trademark breasts in a 2 hour surgical procedure last weekend. According to TMZ, Upton is resting comfortably at a private resort in Arizona.

The sexy rumor this week is that lovers Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed a brand new baby boy into the world.

Lincoln Police are urging all women living in Lancaster County to exercise extreme caution after 54 year-old Marilyn Barker was raped behind a Big Lots in Newkirk last night, the fourth victim of sexual assault in the area this month.

Host and political junkie Jeremy White is actually burned out on politics, so he and Sunny Weathers (mostly) steer clear of the topic in this episode, opting instead to talk about sports and Sunny’s recent encounter with predawn crazy-cat-lady demolition derby.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) declared Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) had tested positive for the Fascism Virus - a mutation of the Right-wing Propaganda Virus. The CDC warned Americans the Fascism Virus was a highly-contagious airborne and electromagnetic superbug with no known cure short of a proper liberal education and being an informed citizen.

Alone and penniless for the first time, Fatima Bin Laden was forced to leave Pakistan last year and find work in her home country of Saudi Arabia after US Navy SEALS put an end to her husband Osama’s career as a world reknown terrorist.

ARTISANAL PRESS — Donald Trump’s inflammatory remarks are once again dominating headlines. This time, the reality-TV-star-turned-politician is talking about how, as president, he will claim the extraordinary power to execute anyone, of any age, anywhere in the world, based solely on his personal presumption that said person is a radical Islamist. Far from being a last-resort option or a bluff, Trump says he plans on flexing this power on a regular weekly schedule.

Elf on the Shelf is training our kids to accept Big Brother watching. This is a bad thing for freedom and America!

Washington—On December 3rd a marble statue in Dick Cheney’s likeness was unveiled in Emancipation Hall. The ceremony was a small affair, for obvious reasons, as only a small fraction of our society can be around Cheney without projectile vomiting. Four days after the prestigious unveiling a group of vandals, calling for regiment change, broke into…

Posing for photographs outside a drive-thru wedding chapel with a small child of middle-eastern descent hugging his leg, a beaming Donald Trump-Fury told reporters: ‘As I have always said, sometimes your best investments are the ones you don't make. But these investments in love are ones I could put off no longer. So without further ado please let me introduce you to my son, Muhammad, and my darling husband, Mrs Trump-Fury!’

An interview with cartoonist Trina Robbins. Errol Flynn and Kevin Costner both played Robin Hood (though not at the same time), and Al Jolson sang about the “Red, red Robin”...

At a campaign speech in Iowa on Thursday, Donald Trump warned supporters that we are never safe from random attacks of violence by ISIS-affiliated attackers. Without giving a source, the GOP front-runner seemed to have inside information on what the next big threat is to the United States.

A Donald Trump supporter said she would still vote for the presidential candidate if he used a small child to protect himself from a potential assassin’s bullet, much like a Stephen King character did.

"Skyfall could be a poignant follow up video with the dog waiting for the thrown stick to fall from the sky for him to catch in the park. Slightly misty I'm thinking, lady dog watching on with her tongue out. By jingo this could work." Jimmy Popper, Music Video Ideas Man From The 1980s

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles)  - After losing the title 'Person of the Year' to German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Republican Candidate Donald Trump bought Time magazine for a whopping $ 2.5 Billion. That's almost a quarter of the billionaire's net worth. Trump was in the short list of contenders for the title, but magazine editors…