LAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles) - Forget about national polls showing Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump leading his rivals by double-digit numbers. Here's a top ten list of his supporters, many of whom may shock you: Hillary Clinton and the Democratic National Committee, for obvious reasons that have to do with the general elections Queen…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States confessed they were purposely ignoring U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - a Democratic presidential candidate - as much as they could. The corporate media syndicate asserted Sanders was "too serious" about running for president, and his focus on all the negative characteristics of the United States made him "too pessimistic and objective" for an American public that must focus on being afraid of terrorism, conformity to the status quo, celebrity drama, and... Donald Trump.

Today, the same elite media who no doubt send their own kids to private schools that employ armed security, just can’t stop howling ridicule at the NRA’s idea to give every student in America those same protections.

In response to the rising frequency of mass shootings around the country, The National Rifle Association is now recommending every American wear full body length, bulletproof personal protective tubing at all times.

Philadelphia, PA—When I post stuff I usually just make fun of stupid people, like Zano. But here’s a unique opportunity to get all political and make fun of stupid people in one post. In case you‘ve been living on Mars, Donald Trump is leading the GOP polls by a near-record margin. The man is obviously pandering. I’m talking…

A sixteen-year-old part-time assistant at PC World is the surprise winner of this year’s Nobel Prize for Physics. Joe Ward from Northampton was awarded the prize in recognition, say the Nobel Committee, ‘of his outstanding contribution to physics and computer science by correctly advising Mrs Ethel Knight, 62, of Northampton, on how to attach a mouse to a computer USB port’.

“It was dark out and he was black. I was just shooting my gun off into the night for fun and he got in the way.” “I can’t count."

MOUNT PLEASANT, South Carolina (The Adobo Chronicles) - First, Donald Trump said the United States should close its borders to Mexicans and immigrants. Then he called for the banning of Chinese birth tourism. Then he called for shutting out all Muslims from entering the United States. Now, the Republican presidential candidate and frontrunner says America should ban…

PORTLAND, OR — The rules are simple. You pack up a bowl. You watch Citizen Kane. And every time someone says “rosebud,” you take a hit.

Palmetto State Armory, a popular gun retailer, has come under fire this holiday season for its attempts at creative advertising. Marketing executives believed that billboards such as ‘Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells,’ and displaying ‘Silent Night’ with a pistol and a silencer would be a good idea.  

EL PASO (The Barbed Wire) - Republican front runner Donald Trump has taken a lot of heat recently for his comments that all Muslims should be kept out of the country until Congress can figure out a way to properly vet any Muslims coming in first.

Clarrisa Melton, age 37 and still single, has been fat all her life. Her mother and father were fat and so were her grandparents who were so large, they both worked in the circus. After many years of watching slim and trim women on TV, and beautiful toned women in magazines, Melton decided to shed her 175 excessive pounds by supporting Barack Obama.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, TNA released the results of a survey measuring how likely Americans were to buy and publicly display a Gadsden flag, which has had low favorability ratings among Americans since 2008. Over 71% of the Americans surveyed disclosed they would not purchase or fly a Gadsden flag so they could avoid being associated with American Teabaggers, who have made the Gadsden flag a symbol of their abundant ignorance regarding both American government and history.

“The dark drone I sense in you.”

Buckingham Palace has confirmed it may withdraw that the Royal Warrant awarded to high street retailer Argos as a result of the third failure of Her Majesty's musical revolving fibre-optic Christmas tree.

by Alexander Vosh.Calls Constitution ‘liberal rag’ as it burns COLUMBUS, OH — This morning, Republican presidential candidate and rabble-rousing billionaire Donald Trump burned the original U.S. Constitution while his supporters chanted “U-S-A” during [more...]Subscribe to our monthly Humor Times magazine here, available worldwide, in print or digital format.

LOS ANGELES, California (The Adobo Chronicles) - Six U.S. states and four countries which are home to some of Donald Trump's real estate properties have decided to shut out the Republican presidential candidate by imposing a travel ban on him. The move was in response to Trump's inflammatory statement calling for the banning of all Muslims…

A new study has confirmed something women have been complaining about for years. The research, out of the University of Breast Information and published in the current issue of Big Boob Magazine essentially corroborates the belief that people tend to focus more on the breasts and figure of a woman when analyzing her appearance than they do on her face.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, President Obama announced the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedoms of all Americans to earn lower wages and become unemployed. President Obama explained the two innately-American liberties would be protected by the TPP, which will make it even easier for corporations to offshore American jobs to countries with lower wages.

After serving as warden of the famous Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola for over 20 years, Burl Cain announced Wednesday that he is stepping down effective Jan. 1.