Check Please!
"That dog is literally hotdog size." Jessie Krufts, Mulch Manager
"It looks pretty easy being green to this reviewer. 2 out of 10." Fred Flunkee, Gold Prospector
"I had never considered tickling tigers from behind as a method of attack. Well, there's no Don't Try This At Home notice so it must be safe." Jimmy Popper, Safety Officer
"Secret service agents on both sides and they let her fall? She can't weight much more than 120 pounds... Trump: flat on his face, I mean he's a big man, OK, but a 120 pound woman? #FAIL #FAIL #FAIL" Harry Zonderblurb, Purveyor
"It makes a refreshing change from all that wooffing. 2 bones out of 10." Harry Zonderblurb, Critic
"Like a low budget straight to youtube Snakenado. And not a cameo from any of the Osbourne family in sight. Everyone's a winner here." Harry Zonderblurb, Critic
"I was expecting UFO aliens to be short and hairy with a fat belly. My bad." Harry Zonderblurb, Predictor
"They found THE American Diner in Russia? Can you even be polite in a Russian accent? Especially when there's a reporter there with such awful puns and not enough vodka."
"Just don't ask me if her bottom looks big in that because I cannot lie. It looks huuuge. Ginormous even."
"So, is that five howls out of five, or just one big howl out of five? These dog reviewers confuse me." Jessie Krufts, Physicist
"Ice cream for the lizard thingie. Do they even eat ice cream? Let him try some he's been through enough already." Jimmy Popper, Animals Correspondent (Desert Animals) , CNN
"A bottom on the ground twerk? Hmm. That furry kid will go far." Jessie Krufts, Talent Scout
"The most likely explanation is that Michelle Obama invented a time machine went forward in time and copied Melania's speech." Jessie Krufts, Republican Campaigner
"Thank heavens kangaroos can't fly." Jessie Krufts, Flap Jack Champ
"It's a sad world when this would only make headline news if the squirrel got a gun and shot someone.#KnowWhatImSayin" Jimmy Popper, Fruit Correspondent (Strawberries) , CNN
"I'm starting a campaign to get Vine videos increased in length from 6 seconds to 7 seconds each. JOIN ME!" Jimmy Popper, Campaigner
"His own legs are probably insured for $30 million a piece, he's right to take no chances." Jessie Krufts, Sport Lawyer
"You know me I'm all for shirtless dancing, but completely naked? It's a step too far." Kent Rugby, Dancer
"Ten out of ten for purr-severance. Geddit?" Jimmy Popper, Puns Correspondent, CNN
"Tiger, you say there's a man trapped down by the boat yard? He's being held by Russians and only has an hour to live? OK, lead on little man. I'll be right behind you." Kent Rugby, Tarzan's Everywhere CEO

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